Contains 500% existential angst

Anime

Something I wrote up on a forum ages ago that I thought might be of benefit to people. It's mildly funny, and kinda spoilery. If you're planning to see Neon Genesis Evangelion in the future, you may or may not want to read this. It's funny though. I have it on authority.

So, here's my enlightening and not at all biased synopsis of the plot of Neon Genesis Evangelion, somewhat edited to make it nicer and make more sense (in whatever way NGE can make sense).

Shinji:
I'm 15 and my dad is head of a robot thingie. They recruited me to pilot these robots.
Rei:
...
Gendou (Shinji's father):
Shinji, you suck.
Shinji:
*angst*
Rei:
...
Shinji:
Now I and Rei go in big robots to fight "angels", whatever they are, that threaten to destroy us! We are teh win!
Gendou:
You still suck.
Shinji:
*angst*
Asuka:
I'm a half-German stuck-up bitch! *slap*
Rei:
...
Misato:
Wohooo! I'm drunk ^.* I'm a slut and I have issues about it!
Shinji:
*angst*
Asuka:
Time to fight more angels! *fight fight fight*
Rei:
...
Shinji:
Oh no! The robots we pilot are actually angels too! *angst*
Kaoru:
I'm a mysterious deus ex machina who's also a pilot! I'm also secretly the last angel, but you don't know that!
Shinji:
I had to kill Kaoru. :( *angst*
Rei:
Shinji, I am a clone of your mother.
Shinji:
wtf *angst*

(begin episode 25)

Shinji:
I am now inside my head! *angst*
Gendou:
New age hogwash.
Misato:
Existential drama.
Rei:
In your dreams, I'm a normal girl! *giggle*
Shinji:
*angst*

The End.

Audience
What the hell?

Thanks! Saved me the trouble of actually watching any of that. The title song kept putting me off watching EP 1.

la la la la la im not reading la la la la la

This is 900% true and its very funny reading this,
even more if you have seen the entire series.
I repeat: very entertaining.




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